Thinkin too much again

Ok ok, so I know its been like forever since ive posted anything. But yea, my bad. Im at Stacy's right now and the kids are hiding from Roxanna and Greg who just got here. Silly kids. Lol

Im still livin at my dads. Im not quite sure how I like that. I like my mom's, but my dad's is ok. I dont come see my mom as much as I should, or Stacy, and it makes me feel so bad. The worst part is I Dont even have a good excuse. Its pure laziness. Im so lazy. My dad is Pennsylvania right now.

Lately Ive been going on walks around the land that my dad owns. It helps me releive stress becaues my meds dont seem to be working. It sorta helps but not really. A problem is I dont even remember what its like, or the last time I was happy. I can surround myself with a million people, and still feel all alone. I literally am never happy, I seem to be getting ok at hiding it, but in the end, it doesnt help at all. I dont know what to do... Nothing I can do I suppose. Im supposed to be the funny silly maggie I used to be, back when I was "happy". Why would Stacy, the kids, or my mom want the Sad, Depressed, Lazy Maggie around? I feel like im in a hole and i have to find a way to climb out- and I cant seem to figure out how.